King Me

I'm doing the quarterback dance in the in-zone and I'm not even afraid of getting fined. I'm gloating so much that nearly nothing could bring me down off this victory high.

Remember the Christmas Crustacean that Nurse Betty just gifted me? And the "shellabration" I had the moment I received the esteemed pleasure of adorning my tree with that monstrosity? Yeah, Nurse Betty thought she could out-do me. She thought she could make me afraid to buy one more disgusting ornament. She thought she could stop my antics.

She thought wrong.

Hee hee....

Say hello to my little friend, Billy Bob Joe, the clarinet-playing, silver antler-having, red sequined coat-wearing, REINDEER! Billy Bob Joe will soon come to reside on Nurse Betty's tree. I'm sure he'll be very happy there, next to the sparkly green fishy, the Christmas pig (complete with fuzzy red Rudolf nose) and thanks to my hijinks this year, Edna the Christmas frog.

Silver Antlers!



And a Santa hat!



So Sparkly!





A shiny gold clarinet!

And just in case Nurse Betty thought that she was going to escape with just one nasty ornament, I've got a check mate on this little chess match.

Queen is playing in the background. "...you got mud on your face, you big disgrace..." Boom, boom, clap. Boom, boom, clap. "Weeee will, weeee will, ROCK YOU!"

Meet Shroomie!

Like, totally psychedelic, dude.

A sparkly mushroom cap.

And a mossy base.



Even comes with a clip for ease of decorating!

Check, and mate, bitch.