Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Penalty Flags

Get that shocked look off your face. This is, in fact, another post just one day after yesterday's. Seems I have a lot to talk about.

So a few posts back, I mentioned that my gut was telling me that things were too good to be true with The Single Boy. I went on and on about how great he is - at which point some of you vomited in disgust - and that my gut kept telling me to run. Since I couldn't grasp that it could be true, that I'd been blessed with a wonderful man in my life, I chalked it up to nerves and fear. Turns out, I should've trusted my gut.

You've been there, right? You've dated the great guy with everything going for him. He's dynamic, adorable, and incredibly funny. He's never rude to anyone and he sticks up for you when you're down. Okay, so on paper he sounds great. But actions and words have to work hand in hand. How is he when you need him because your world is crashing down? How is he when you don't need him? How is he when you're cramming for a big promotion? And does he really hear - and really listen - when you talk?

In short, I realized over Thanksgiving that this fantasy that I was trying to be at ease with was just that - a fantasy. The Single Boy kept reminding me of a character in one of my favorite chick movies, The Holiday. He reminded me of Jasper Bloom. The only issue in this equation is that I happened to be Iris Simpkins. She held on to her relationship with Jasper even after he'd cheated on her because she couldn't let him go. He stuck around because she was a good ego boost for him and when he needed her, she would come trotting along behind him. Uber pathetic, and yet vaguely familiar. The trouble is, that Iris is so adorable and so like us that we root for her to realize how wonderful and deserving she is.

She says something in this movie to the effect that we're supposed to be the leading lady of our own lives and that she was acting more like the affable best friend. Can this be true? Could I have been living my life like the best friend instead of the leading lady? Nurse Betty just about beat that fact into my head for two nights straight. But, no amount of BFF or Bestie or wine can convince you that you are better than how you've been treated. You're the one who needs to realize it for yourself.

So, like my last post, the fear ends now. It's time to let it go...and this time I'm letting him go.

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